Would you believe it?

November 21, 2014 3:37 pm Published by

Concertina carols!

Mr Woodford was involved in a multiple accident in ‘sleety snow’ on the M62. “I was in the middle of about a dozen cars and my car was bashed front and rear,” he told the AA. “The cars all crunched up like a concertina. While we waited the chap from the car in front took out, of all things, a concertina! He was supposed to be playing at a carol concert so he started playing Christmas carols for us instead!”  Every cloud has a silver lining…



Criminals aren’t the only real animals to ruin your trip

If they are holidaying in the Black Forest, you might want to make sure you lock up properly whenever you leave the house. One family came back for their chalet to discover their home had been invaded through one hungry goat, which had proceeded to much their way through their wallets, passports and sandwiches. Their own claim for new passports and wallets were rejected because of negligence in leaving the chalet open.


Have you heard the one about the housewife and the milkman?

Oncover has been wondering whether a lovers’ tiff sparked the recent peculiar call to the Allianz Cornhill Legal Protection (ACLP) claims helpline.

Upset by the noise of milk bottles clinking on the back of a milk van early in the morning, a woman contacted the claims line for help.  “I want you to help me take out an anti­social behaviour order,” she told ACLP.

 “Erm… sorry?” came the reply.

 “The milkman is too noisy. I want you to help me shut him up,” she continued.

 “Erm…” the confused call handler responded.

It seems the woman was fed up of the milkman disturbing her neighbourhood at an unsocial hour, which had resulted in her sleeping patterns being disturbed.  ACLP declined to comment on whether the woman is getting more sleep now she’s no longer getting her full cream delivered by the milkman.



Winston Who?

Winston Churchill, one of the greatest Britons ever or …. A nodding dog? A survey found that many teenagers are so engrossed in reality TV and computer games that they think Winston Churchill is an insurance salesman. Of course the great leaders jowly features do bear some similarity to Royal Bank of Scotland’s well-known bulldog. But the canine’s oratory skills would be no match to those of the wartime prime minister. “We will issue them on the beaches” doesn’t have quite the same ring.


Would you believe it! 

A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against fire among other things. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars the lawyer filed a claim with the insurance company.

In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost “in a series of small fires.” The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason: that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The lawyer sued….and won! In delivering the ruling the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be “unacceptable fire,” and was obligated to pay the claim. Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000.00 to the lawyer for his loss of the rare cigars lost in the “fires.”

But… After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000.00 fine.



Would you believe it! 

Meet the illegal immigrant who plans car accidents to make bogus insurance claims.

An illegal immigrant who engineers’ car crashes for a living in order to cash in on the resulting insurance claim is the subject of a shock new telly documentary.

Indian-born Happy features on Channel 5’s Grand Theft Auto: UK, which exposes the tricks of the car crime trade and the criminal hierarchies involved. The 28-year-old, who lives in the south of England with his wife and child works as a ‘crasher’, putting lives at risk to make quick cash through road accidents.

Acting with a middle man, he meets the owners of the car and several ‘passengers’ at a pre-arranged point. He then gets the car into a scrape and then swaps place with the owner of the vehicle, leaving the official driver to get out and take the insurance details of the person who had just crashed into them.

Happy’s targets are usually older drivers who are most likely to admit blame. Some of the crashes have been particularly nasty, with one recently ending with someone in a coma. “People come to me because I’m good and no one can do what I can do. I’m a professional and I’m gonna do a ‘bang’ thing, and I’m not scared to do these things.” He boasts.



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